Blondes

A Lawyer and a Blonde

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from L.A. to New York. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains how the game works:

"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa."
Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures he will easily win the match since his opponent is a blonde, so he makes another offer:
"Okay, how about this. If you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50."
This catches the blonde's attention and,
figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth
to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer,
"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look.
He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers - all to no avail. After over an hour of searching for the answer, he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The
blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks,
"Well, so what IS the answer?"
Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Terrifying Bus Ride

Two groups chartered a double-decker bus to visit the casinos in Atlantic City, one group was all blondes and the other was a group from the retirement home. The retirement home group rides on the bottom of the bus. The blonde group rides on the top level.

Soon their journey begins and bottom group is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes he doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.

Being a fine gentleman, he decides to get up and investigate. When he reaches the top, he finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. He says, "What the heck's going on up here?" We're having a great time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!"

Blonde wins

A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she's peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch."

But the blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"

Finally the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"

The blonde says, "No it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!" She hands the ticket to the manager and he reads... (Get ready for this!)

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"W I N A B A G E L"

Blonde in Vegas

A blonde was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She was standing in front of the candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out.

She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket.

She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar.

A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her, he said "Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?"

She said, "Duh! I'm winning here!"