Brad Garrett, better known for his work as Ray Romano's big brother in the sitcom 'Everybody Loves Raymond,' is short-stacked and in some trouble. An enormous crowd has formed around Garrett, who is sitting next to the rail. He's eating up every moment of the attention, cracking jokes to the delight of the crowd. As I approach, he shouts, "Hey, I need a math guy, you, come over here!"
I look around behind me and see he is pointing at me, the only Asian person around, and I head over with the crowd laughing behind me. "What, you people are always so worried about PC, you know it's true. You're good at math, right?" I nod my head. "I got this much left," he tells me, showing me two yellows, a black, and three greens good for 2175 in chips. "What do I do?"
"Well, the blinds are 100/200, so you got about 11 big blinds left. Don't feel like you gotta push," I whisper in his ear. "You have one more orbit, then it's push or fold time. What happened? You had a lot of chips before I left."
"Well, I dropped the C-bomb (a word for oral sex), and they gave me a 15-minute penalty"
"Sorry to hear that, Brad," I tell him.
"Thanks kid," he answers.
Two hands later, I wince as I see Garrett limp into the pot after two other limpers called before him. The button calls as well. The flop comes K-J-10, and Garrett bets out 500 into the 1100 pot. His opponent quickly makes a minimum raise on him. "OK, I gotta go eat dinner, I'm all in" says Garrett, using a classic tell for strength. The button quickly calls and shows K-10 for two pair, in some serious trouble against Garrett's A-Q for the nut straight. The turn comes an ace and the river a king, filling his opponent up. Garret is in shock. He yells to Doyle Brunson, 20 feet away, "Doyle, your grandson just knocked me out!" He whispers to Cyndy Violette, watching from a distance, "Cyndy, I played that hand OK, didn't I? Doyle's inbred fourth grandson over there took me out." Cyndy smiles, and the ESPN cameras motion over to grab the two of them in a shot together.
Garrett quickly pulls me into the shot with Violette and notes, "Hey, it was great while it lasted. This is Cyndy and my adopted son, Kiaba. We got him from Mai Farrow." My 15 minutes of fame have finally arrived. I contemplate shouting, "Go to pokernews.com to read about this later!" but realize it will probably hit the editing room floor if I do anything other than smile and wave, fulfilling my role as a prop for Garrett's joke.
"I have a feeling a hooker's gonna get a black eye tonight," says Garrett to the crowd as he exits the room, a standing ovation behind him.