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2 Months. 2 Million: Dani's Downswing, Emil's Personal Assistant (Lingerie Model) Quest, and More


The second episode of G4's 2 Months. 2 Million showcased our quartet on, what many would call a poker player's home away from home, — the golf course. As they played for $1,000 a hole, we quickly discovered that Dani "Ansky" Stern is by far the worst golfer amongst the four, missing the ball entirely in several attempts to tee off. However, he did hit a bet at 2-1 odds that he couldn't chop a ball into a tree to offset his earlier losses. Dani Stern's losses, not on the course, but at the virtual tables, would be a prominent theme this week in an episode that in the end, truthfully and candidly documented the emotional roller-coaster all poker players experience during a brutal downswing.

After their round of golf, the four settled into the war room to play a session. Jay "Krantz" Rosenkrantz had a profitable day playing heads-up against "DIN_FRU" while Dani couldn't seem to win a pot to save his life. While playing on the screen next to him, Brian "Flawless_Victory" Roberts criticized Dani's (slouchy) posture at the table, noting that "There's no way you can play your A+ (game) sitting like that." Later, in a solo interview, Brian called him the, "weakest player of the group."

While playing videogames, our boys couldn''t help but notice how messy their environment was already becoming (cut to shots of empty bottles and burrito wrappers) after less than two weeks in the house. They hatched the idea to hire a personal assistant with Emil "whitelime" Patel agreeing to take the lead on selecting the perfect candidate.

The next day, Stern was still on the downswing. "Who is this fat panda motherf*cker who keeps winning my money," he groaned as yet another buy-in vanished. After dropping $10,000 he decided hit the tilt room and began raging on a garbage can with a baseball bat. Once he was finished "letting it all out," he shot hoops with Krantz and shared his plan to go into "Lockdown"-- 24 straight hours of poker, covering about 10,000 hands-- to get his run-bad out once and for all.

While Dani went on the grind, Emil met with a bevy of attractive women for the personal assistant job. Not one to stop at just a traditional interview, Emil tried them out on "tasks" which included fetching him his Jamba Juice (Strawberries Wild with a whey protien boost, please), organzing his closet, cutting his hair, and shucking golf balls. One girl took her task so seriously that she disrobed and jumped into the pool to retrieve a stray golf ball, revealing the body of a lingerie model, albeit silicone-enhanced.

"Does she win points for enthusiasm? Or lose points for like, not getting a net," wondered Emil.

Meanwhile back in the war room, Dani's losing streak intensified and after losing $30,000, he abandoned his plans to continue playing and started drinking instead. After a long night of partying, Dani passed out until the next afternoon, the other three poking fun at him as he slept it off. Emil narrowed his choices and hired attractive brunette Stephanie as his assistant. To start off her first day, he immediately gave her two bags of his laundry to do.

In order to get Dani to relax and play better, Krantz and Brian hired a harpist to play inside their war room. Though at first it seemed relaxing, Emil grew annoyed with the harp music and started losing, while Dani at last turned it around and started winning. Emil lost $25,500 during the harp concert while Stern cut his losses for the week close enough to induce a playoff for the week's "Penalty Stunt." He and Emil decided to play a heads-up "deathmatch" on Full Tilt — five SNGs to determine who would be stuck with the penalty stunt. Though they tied it up at 2-2, Dani lost the fifth match, earning the penalty stunt for the second consecutive week.

Once again, Dani was forced to dress in drag, and again, it backfired on the guys. While playing the harp in front of Bally's on the Las Vegas Strip in a "fairy godmother dress" Stern again managed to pick up a hot girl even though he was dressed in a ridiculous, gender-bending costume...and singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Week 2 Stats:

Jay Rosenkrantz: +$147,000
Brian Roberts: +$46,000
Emil Patel: (-$11,500)
Dani Stern: (-$18,600)

Total for Week 2: +$162,900
Total to date: +$197,900

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